Doggone Murderer Treatment First Draft

Hi guys, below is my treatment. It's long -- I wasn't sure where a treatment ends and a script begins. But it should be an endurable read, and despite its length, I think it stands at about a 7-minute film, even before revisions. (A lot of the action and dialogue will play really fast as I imagine it.)

I divided it into acts just for reading's sake.

Doggone Murderer Treatment

ACT I

Midday. The clouds are swirling and darkening. A car screeches into the driveway of a modest suburban home. Bursting from the car is Danny Barkowitz, a dog, carrying a large sack of groceries. As Danny hurries to the front door, fishing for his keys, his neighbor, Nutty Sal the squirrel, climbs out from an overhanging branch of his treehouse and taps Danny on the shoulder. Danny yips and drops his groceries. As he and Nutty Sal pick up the dropped items, Danny explains he’s tense because tonight is his anniversary with his girlfriend Ginger, and it’s gotta go well because he forgot her birthday, which, in dog years, is like seven birthdays. “So you’re in the doghouse, in a manner of speaking,” says Sal. Danny finally collects all the groceries, finds the keys, and opens the door. Sal asks where Danny’s roommate, Feathers, will be tonight, and Danny explains he’s flying south for the winter, so he’s out of the picture.

Danny steps inside. Two long birdlike legs jut out limply in the foreground, motionless. Danny, humming to himself as he removes his sweater, doesn’t notice. Instead, he hurries to the kitchen, where a rose-petaled tablecloth, two champagne glasses, and a candle have been set up. He lovingly places a large bone on both plates. Then he steps into the living room where the bird legs are again visible, and, taking no notice, finishes wrapping a large gift box. “She’s been needing this new flea collar,” Danny says, patting the gift. “And now, to change."

Danny trips over the bird legs, falling flat on his face. “Feathers? You’re still here?” He grabs the ostrich by the neck and slaps him across the face, but the bird lays limp. “I know what to do,” says Danny. He grabs a sharpie and draws on a mustache and glasses, then, full of anticipation, plucks a feather. No response.

Then Danny spies a note stuck in Feathers’ plumage. He takes it and reads: “Dear Danny, I'm sorry I had to kill your feathered friend.” Danny double-takes, spies the broken lamp by Feathers’ head, and finally understanding, gasps in horror. He continues reading: “All I want is the jewels. (‘Should be are the jewels,’ interjects Danny, marking the paper with the sharpie.) If the jewels are not on the front porch by 6 o’clock I will come back and…” Danny jumps up in alarm and slaps his forehead, screaming that six is when Ginger is coming over. He checks his watch and sees it’s already 5:45. Wearing an expression of extreme inner turmoil, Danny first looks at the gift box, then at the body, then back at the gift again.

Danny calls Ginger on his cell. “Ginger, sweetheart? You’re not already on your way over, are you?” Ginger’s voice is heard speaking rapidly, and from Danny’s responses we gather that she almost there and she’s very excited. Finally: “Why am I calling? I have to tell you that…Feathers…wishes us a happy anniversary. Isn’t that sweet?” Danny hangs up.

ACT II

Suddenly Danny is a torrent of motion. He lifts Feathers’ huge limp body to the best of his ability and awkwardly drags his roommate out to the backyard, where it is now dark and raining. He digs hurriedly with his paws, stopping only to note a stash of acorns which he guesses belong to Nutty Sal. “Sorry, Feathers old pal, just for tonight,” he says as he covers over the body. “There, that should be virtually invisible.” He turns to examine his handiwork and beholds an obvious mud-covered mound, long legs extending straight up into the air. Groaning, he pulls Feathers from the muck and drags him inside.

Danny looks around for a good hiding spot as he drags Feathers down the hall. As he passes the kitchen, the doorbell rings. Danny drops Feathers, races to the door, pokes his head out, and, eying his visitor head to toe, realizes it’s Ginger. “Be right with you!” he says, giving her a quick smooch and slamming the door, leaving Ginger out in the rain. Ginger, imperturbable, speculates that Danny must have a big surprise in store for her.

Inside, Danny crams Feathers into the freezer, mops up the mud tracked in, sweeps up the broken lamp, vacuums, dims the lights, lights the candles, runs upstairs, changes, and returns all in about 10 seconds. In the kitchen, the freezer door cracks open and one big bird foot swings out. Meanwhile, Danny collects himself and opens the door. Ginger steps in and removes her coat, commenting that she can’t wait to see what’s in store for her. Danny says he can’t either.

Danny guides Ginger into the kitchen. Ginger gasps in delight and walks around the table, taking everything in. She stands behind her chair, which, incidentally, is directly under the fridge. Danny notices the big, protruding foot, which brushes against Ginger’s ears. Just as she turns around to look, Danny zips over, reinserts the foot and slams the freezer shut, laughing nervously. He pulls out her chair for her. “Sit,” he says. “Good girl.” Ginger inquires after Feathers as Danny uncorks and pours the champagne. They toast to Feathers’ good health, then bring their champagne glasses to their muzzles and lap it up.

Outside, a shadowy figure with glowing eyes peers in at the couple through a window. Thunder rolls.

Ginger nibbles her bone daintily. She tells Danny he makes her feel safe, like nothing could ever happen to her. Meanwhile, directly above her, the freezer door has cracked open again, and Feathers’ entire body is slipping out. Danny hears ice cubes drop. Looking up from his bone, he sees Feathers, leaps up onto the table, and reaches over Ginger’s head just in time to shove Feathers back in. “I just wanted to say, I love you!” he says. “Come on, I have something for you!” He takes her by the hand and rushes into the living room.

Danny guides Ginger to the couch Feathers didn’t die on and hands her the gift box. “You’ve been mentioning your flea problem,” he says as she unwraps it. She opens the box and shrieks in happiness. Danny beams. She pulls out two jewel-encrusted earrings. Danny’s jaw drops. “Danny, you shouldn’t have!” “I didn’t,” breathes Danny to the camera. Ginger puts on the earrings, knocks Danny over and gives him a big, wet dog kiss a la Odie in Garfield. Danny howls with happiness. At that moment, Feathers spills out from the freezer onto the kitchen floor in a pile of ice cubes. Ginger has a clear view. She screams.

ACT III

Moments later Danny is chasing Ginger around the kitchen table. “I didn’t kill him!” “Then why did you hide his carcass in the freezer?” Danny has no answer, but he reminds Ginger that Feathers owed him back rent, and she hesitantly concedes that it doesn’t sound like Danny to kill a guy who owed him money. She spies the murderer’s note and reads it with increasing fear in her voice: “Dear Danny, I'm sorry I had to kill your feathered friend. All I want is the jewels. (‘Should be are the jewels,’ she interjects.) If the jewels are not on the front porch by 6 o’clock, I will come back and find them myself. I am prepared to kill again.” A deep voice reads the last line at the same time Ginger does.

Lightning crashes. The voice says, “don’t move, neighbor.” Danny and Ginger turn to see a gun pointed at them, held by none other than Nutty Sal. “Put the earrings in the sack, and I won’t have to shoot nobody.” Ginger is elated Danny didn’t kill Feathers. “I’m not dead,” Feathers says, lifting his head from the floor. Sal spooks and shoots him. “Never mind,” Feathers groans as he flops to the ground.

Ginger gives Danny the earrings and he slowly takes them over to Sal. Sal reaches out nervously. Ginger holds her breath. At that moment, Danny’s mind wanders to the moment Ginger first saw the candlelit dinner, the moment she opened the earrings, and the moment she kissed him. He sees Sal’s hand reaching toward his, and looks down to see Feathers’ neck outstretched between them. In a flash, Danny trips over Feathers’ neck, tosses the earrings into the air, and lands on Sal, who fires a bullet into the air then drops the gun. The bullet ricochets off pots and pans. Ginger catches the earrings. Danny and Sal wrestle. Still the bullet ricochets. Feathers wobbles to his feet. “I’m alive!” The ricocheting bullet buries itself in Feathers’ abdomen. His eyes cross. Danny and Sal stop wrestling as Feathers falls once more.

“You’ve killed my roommate three times and you ruined our anniversary! What do you have to say for yourself?” “Goodbye,” says Sal, and he bites Danny on the nose and scampers away – right into the muzzle of the gun Ginger picked up off the floor. Sal wilts. Danny smiles, rubbing his nose.

EPILOGUE

The next morning, the sky is clear and Danny and Ginger stand on the porch watching the police take Sal away. Danny’s nose is bandaged. Feathers, a bandage around his head and two on his torso, explains that he inherited the jewel earrings from his grandmother. Sal wanted them to pay off his debts to the mob boss, Don Squirreleone. He offered to pay 1,000 acorns for them. “The deal was his nuts for my family jewels,” Feathers explains. But Sal couldn’t remember where he hid the acorns, so he came to Feathers to get the earrings with deferred payment. Feathers said no and hid the earrings in Ginger’s gift. Sal said he had to have the earrings before Feathers flew south. “I don’t remember much after that.”

Ginger offers the earrings back to Feathers. Danny pulls Feathers aside and reminds him about his 6 months’ back rent. They strike a deal, and Ginger gets to keep the earrings. Danny asks Ginger if she liked the anniversary. “Are you kidding? It was nuts!” she replies, and gives him another dog kiss. Iris out. (Maybe Feathers should add, “Th-th-that’s all, folks!”